First Magazine

First

by Larry Dobrow, Thursday, September 13, 2007
I GOT A WONDERFUL idea from a quick glimpse at the cover of the Oct. 1 issue of First: I'm going to cram my imitation of the magazine's approach into one tantalizingly lengthy blurb at the start of this column. Here it goes: Alarmist sentiment, couched in pseudo-science. Severe overstatement? Clause that diminishes its severity! Question that seems rhetorical... but isn't. Too-easy-to-be-possible balm - promise of easiness and possibility. Shocking news! Shocking news!

What's that? It's hard to tell what the dickens I'm saying? Ah, but apparently such a hit-the-reader-early-and-often strategy works for First, which plasters 129 words on the cover of its October 1 issue, not including the title and price. In this context, the 11 exclamation points feel almost understated. By the time people likely to buy this publication -- non-city-dwelling women with no common sense or self-esteem -- have taken it all in at the supermarket counter, they'll likely have slumped into a diabetic coma. Medic - 600 CCs of Milky Way, stat!

Holy lord, the people behind First have some 'splainin' to do. I'm down with magazines like All You and Quick & Simple, First's obvious competitors. But where those other titles attempt to educate and entertain in an almost pathologically gentle manner, First goes the alarmist route. Tonally, most of the issue resembles the teases for late local newscasts during November sweeps ("Three packed movie theaters fire-bombed this evening! We'll let you know which ones... after 'Men In Trees'!).

First tells its readers that copper makes them chronically sleepy. It warns them about the pitfalls of drinking orange juice. When it runs out of canny advice of its own, it imports dullard-sitcom luminaries like Reba McEntire and Kimberly Williams-Paisley to pass along tips about stress-management (be humble) and making new connections (send more email... just not to me, okay?). The oh-the-humanity! content doesn't stop there: First runs a "Smile File" bit from Dave Barry, one of the three people who, should I ever encounter in person, I will slam to the ground and beat senseless for his Crimes Against Funny (the others: Robin Williams and Sarah Silverman).

Meanwhile, don't get First started on the topic of weight gain. Just about everything, it seems, can transform a happy, healthy woman into a quivering mound of custard: using a cell phone, watching her favorite TV shows, sleeping in a cluttered room, you name it. The mag senses no disconnect in serving up recipes for lard-tastic grilled cheese, "5-ingredient yum!" and "Soulful southern yum" shortly thereafter. Then it posits that the real key to "amazing" health is not a balanced diet and regular exercise. No, it's cabbage, which supposedly helps you sleep, cranks up your metabolism and simonizes your car. Spread the word.

Additionally, in one of the more loathsome tactics I've encountered, First appends several of its ludicrous assertions with a "science proves it!" blurb. In fact, "science" proves three of the following grand declarations. Can you guess which one is false? I bet you can!!!


1. "Pet owners are healthier!"
2. "Electromagnetic forces are making women fat!"
3. "Grape juice is filled with toxins!"
4. "Walking outside is better than Prozac!"

I can think of any number of other questions to pose here -- Is the magazine's official title First or First For Women? Why isn't the anti-aging spread in the back clearly labeled as advertising? -- but you get the point. Pity anybody who reads this magazine; express your contempt for anybody who works on it by beating them about the torso with a slipper. Simple declarative sentences are for simple declarative people, but there's no other way to end this transmission than by stating it flatly: First is a reprehensible mess.

***

Note: the fake First declaration is number 3.


MAG STATS
Published by: Bauer Publishing
Frequency: 17 times a year (a "triweekly")
Advertising information
Web site

Post your response to the public Magazine Rack blog.

See what others are saying on the Magazine Rack blog.
Larry Dobrow (larry@mediapost.com) is a Contributing Writer. 

Magazine Rack for Thursday, September 13, 2007: http://publications.mediapost.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If this issue was forwarded to you and you would like to begin receiving a copy of your own, please visit our site - www.mediapost.com - and become a complimentary member.
For advertising opportunities see our online media kit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We welcome and appreciate forwarding of our newsletters in their entirety or in part with proper attribution.
(c) 2007 MediaPost Communications, 1140 Broadway, 4th Floor, New York, NY 10001

Major Award Nomination For Mystery Fiction Review Site

 

Mystery Fiction Review Site Nominated For Major Award

Murder mystery book review Website selected for honor at Alaska convention.

Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB) September 9, 2007 -- The internet crime fiction review web site, http://www.reviewingtheevidence.com has been nominated for an Anthony Award, to be presented at the upcoming gathering of hundreds of mystery writers, editors and fans, Bouchercon. The event will take place this year September 27 - 30 in Anchorage, Alaska.

The six-year-old site is a total cyber entity. Its editor, Sharon Wheeler, works from Cheltenham, England, where she is also teaches journalism at the University of Gloucestershire. The site's founder and publisher, Barbara Franchi, lives in Los Angeles, which is also the home base for her travels as a contributor to the PBS series, Antiques Roadshow. The site's reviews are written by a team of authors, librarians and mystery aficionados scattered across the U.S. and around the globe.

The Anthony Awards, named after famed mystery writer, editor and founder of the Mystery Writers of America, Anthony Boucher, are among the most prestigious in a genre that was once a quiet backwater of the literary world, but now regularly produces books that dominate the best seller lists.    

Nominated in the Special Services category, reviewing the evidence.com presents twenty new reviews each week and features a commentary on current trends in the world of mystery fiction plus author interviews by Ms. Wheeler. It also maintains a complete archive of its earlier critiques.

Contact:
Rudy Franchi
rudy @ firedog.cc
310 360 0830

Press Contact: rUDY fRANCHI
Company Name: reviewing the evidence.com
Phone: 310 360 0830
Website: http://www.reviewingtheevidence.com

Guitar Edge Magazine

Guitar Edge

by Larry Dobrow, Tuesday, September 4, 2007
MY FIRST JOB WAS as a mail-order peon at the original Victor's House of Music in North Jer-Z. Occasionally I answered a phone call or restrung a guitar, but mostly I sat around and listened to the fantastic ramblings of my boss Jim.

Jim was a stringy, glue-inhaling sort, prone to sudden stumbles into the styrofoam bin. He regaled me with tales of his on-the-verge metal band, the Snorkling Hamsters, and heaped praise upon an up-and-coming poet named David Coverdale by quoting liberally from "Slide It In," "Slow An' Easy" and "Spit It Out." Lazing away the afternoons with Jim impressed two things upon my adolescent mind: First, that Coverdale is a master of the subtle sexual quadruple-entendre; and second, that I better get my grades up, and fast.

Assuming Jim always remembered to open the garage door while revving the engine on his late-model party van, he's probably a huge fan of Guitar Edge nowadays. The mag, a throwback to the late, great Guitar, ranks as the leanest guitar title on the market. Ordinarily "lean" would mean "weak and/or devoid of creativity, wit and advertising," but in this case I intend it as high praise.

Guitar Edge, unlike the competition, understands that its readers don't want first-person columns by some random guy whose band opened for Mountain at the 1982 South Dakota State Fair ("when Leslie West quoted from 'Manic Depression' during his 'Mississippi Queen' outro, I realized that I was in the presence of greatness, even if he wouldn't let me use the toilet in his trailer"). No, it realizes that fledgling guitarists want tablature, tablature and more tablature, especially now that the ASCAP folks have gotten all pissy and litigious about Web sites offering transcriptions.

The mag delivers on its "less talk, more tab" tagline with 12 transcriptions in the September/October issue alone. Its choices are diverse and inspired, too, alternating between selections only playable by bona fide shredders (Stevie Ray's "Scuttle Buttin'," Steve Vai's "Bad Horsie") and those aimed at fraternity strummers and comparable neophytes ("Get Up Stand Up," Green Day's take on "Working Class Hero").

Of course, by devoting 72 of the issue's 108 pages to tablature, Guitar Edge doesn't leave a lot of room for much else -- and this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Maybe it's best, in fact, to examine what Guitar Edge doesn't offer in its pages: tens of record reviews (gee, good luck finding those elsewhere), gear reviews (ditto), best solo/guitar album/Frampton riff lists intended to foment horribly punctuated debate among uppity list-serv pundits (yup), etc.

What little non-tab content there is in the September/October issue is hit (the "Crash Course" on harmonizing guitar solos, the "Tip Jar" on B.B. King's phrasing) or miss (the overly worshipful Q&A, which includes the question, "Is it getting any easier for Lamb of God now that you've achieved so much success over the past few years?"), but that's besides the point. Guitar Edge recognizes what readers want and delivers it in a succinct package. That's all. This isn't hard.

For the record, the best harmonized guitar solo of all time is Steely Dan's "Reelin' in the Years." I'll also listen to arguments on behalf of the intro to "Bringin' on the Heartbreak." "More Than a Feeling"? No.

I'm an unbelievably double-super-ninja-awesome guitarist -- probably the best you'll ever hear play unless you have a relative named Yngwie -- so I tend to hold publications like Guitar Edge to a high standard. And to be honest, I doubt I'd read it regularly myself, as bands like Lamb of God make me want to perforate my eardrums with a serrated tuning fork. Still, there's more here for the average player than there is in just about any other guitar mag. Recommended.


MAG STATS
Published by: Music Dispatch Publications
Frequency: Bimonthly
Advertising information
Web site

Post your response to the public Magazine Rack blog.

Larry Dobrow (larry@mediapost.com) is a Contributing Writer. 

Magazine Rack for Tuesday, September 4, 2007: http://publications.mediapost.com/index.cfm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If this issue was forwarded to you and you would like to begin receiving a copy of your own, please visit our site - www.mediapost.com - and become a complimentary member.
For advertising opportunities see our online media kit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We welcome and appreciate forwarding of our newsletters in their entirety or in part with proper attribution.
(c) 2007 MediaPost Communications, 1140 Broadway, 4th Floor, New York, NY 10001
 

Web Site Owners and Bloggers Paid To Make More Money

Web Site Owners and Bloggers Paid To Make More Money

09/05/2007 - (NTSWIRE) Minneapolis - New Publishers and Webmasters that join Auction Ads and start earning money with the Ebay affiliate program will find they are $25 richer just for joining. Auction Ads today announced that all new publishers would be paid a signup bonus of $25. Since the payout threshold is $50, this means a publisher would only have to earn $25 before being able to receive their first check.

The registration process is easy and adding the AuctionAds code to your site is also easy. It's as easy as using Google AdSense and you can have AuctionAds on the same pages as your existing AdSense, there is no conflict.

AuctionAds have been very popular since the ads feature small images and text from current Ebay auctions. Rather than signing up with Ebay, Webmasters and blog owners and easily sign up with Auction Ads and avoid a longer signup process and learning to use the Ebay API. Ads can be targeted with keywords and even maximum and minimum prices so that you get just the kind of ads that YOU KNOW best suit your sites.

The end date for this promotion has not been announced, but it is suggested that you sign up right away even if you are unable to add the code to your site or your blog today. Don't miss out on this great incentive to join a program that really needs no incentive.

Join Auction Ads Here

PR Contact
EbayAuctionAds.com
7141 Oak Pointe Curve
Bloomington, MN 55348