Earth Rejects Planet Status In Protest, Planets Now Down to Seven

Earth Rejects Planet Status In Protest, Planets Now Down to Seven

Experts Fear Other Planets May also Protest

August 24, 2006 - Minneapolis, Minnesota - (PRShredder.com) - In a carefully worded statement, an official spokesperson for the planet formerly known as "Earth" has publicly rejected it's legal given name and planet status, and from this date on wishes to be referred to as "Moon Buddy".

This new name will serve as both name and identification as a heavenly body. It seems that the former planet was so outraged that a member of it's planetary family would be rejected by "Specks of protoplasm that exist one day and are gone the next", that it decided to take steps to distance itself from the "human infestation" as much as possible.

When Moon Buddy was asked if it was planning any other forms of protest, it was not specific but replied, "Oh, I don't know. We may try to shake things up a bit and see who's paying attention. This issue is not over by any measure. If you insult one of us, you insult all of us."

When contacted for comment, Planet Mars appeared so angry that it was unable to speak. Venus coyly said "no comment". Jupiter seemed unfazed, amused, and would only say, "It's a knee-jerk response, they'll settle in their orbits in time. I have to admit we're all fond of Pluto and this recent news took us all by surprise. Pluto seems to holding up well so far, no talk about his leaving orbit or anything like that, so I'm sure it'll work out."

An official from NASA who declined to be named was despondent. "Christ, we're just getting started out there and what do they do? They take one of our stinking 9 planets away from us? Do you know what we will have to do after we finally visit all our planets? That's right, we'll have to have the technology to friggin go to ANOTHER solar system to explore more planets! Faster than light travel or Wormholes is what it's going to take, and who knows WHEN some egghead will figure THAT out! No one wants to visit a goddamn dwarf! What's the point???"

At press time we had not received statements or replies from the other planets we contacted.

In related news, the Organization To Save Our Planet, issued a statement that they plan on voting to disband at their annual meeting in October.

(hris